Top 10 List: Favorite Chris Farley Movie Quotes

"Time to pay the fiddler, whore!"
Dirty Work




"You're drivin' along, la-de-da, woo. All of a sudden there's a truck tire in the middle of the road. And you hit the brakes. EEEEEEEEE! Whoa, that was close. Ha-ha. Now let's see what happens when you're driving with the "other guy's" brake pads. You're drivin' along, you're drivin' along, the kids start shouting from the back seat, "I gotta go to the bathroom, Daddy!" "Not now, damn it!" Truck tire. EEEEEEEE! I CAN'T STOP! There's a cliff! AAAAAHH! And your family's screaming, "Oh my God, we're burning alive!" "No! I can't feel my legs!" Here comes the meat wagon. And the medic gets out and says, "Oh my God". New guy's around the corner puking his guts out. All because you want to save a couple extra pennies. And to me, it doesn't..."
Tommy Boy




"Young fella, I'm gonna twist off your head and spike it onto the floor so for a nightmare you can't even imagine, I will gasp at you inside the 6 sided winds of fire, unless you move from this area, far and fast, NOW!"
Black Sheep




"And there's the Saigon whore that bit my nose off!"
Dirty Work




"The point is, how do you know the fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes" says the little fairy; well, we're not buying it. He sneaks into your house once, that's all it takes. The next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser, and your daughter's knocked up. I seen it a hundred times."
Tommy Boy




"I name this here fork "Pittsburgh Nellie"; a Welsh whore who could do things with her one good arm that'd make you forget that *thing* on her neck."
Almost Heroes




"Wow! My Mom's the only other woman I know who can take a sandwich like that!"
Coneheads




"I hate my father. I hate my life. But I feel great! You guys are great. I'm gonna go pick a fight."
Wayne's World 2




"Good, great, wonderful, fantastic..."
Airheads




"Yeah yeah, well, ah, you know its a kinda easy to win when you, ah, NEVER MOVE YOUR BACK ROW, EVER, GOD...come on..."
Black Sheep




HONORABLE MENTION


"I'll turn this damn bus around! That'll end your precious field trip pretty damn quick huh! Little shit!"
Billy Madison




"Forget it, I quit, I can't do this anymore, man. My head's about to explode. My whole life sucks! I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know where I'm going. My dad just died, we just killed Bambi, I'm out here getting my ass kicked and every time I drive down the road I wanna jerk the wheel into a Goddamn bridge embankment."
Tommy Boy




"I have traveled many miles and now have come disguised as a pimp to help you."
Beverly Hills Ninja




"Kill Whitey!"
Black Sheep




"In the land of the skunks, the man who has half a nose is king. FLY MY PRETTIES!!! FLY!!!"
Dirty Work